HAPPY NEW YEAR

So goodbye 2013. Welcome 2014!

I just come back from a dinner night at Orchard Hotel with my auntie and her bf. Sooo damn tired but I don't want to sleep yet. I really want to wait until midnight and say HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! It sucks that I end this year alone in front of my desktop without someone's special. I still remember clearly what he whispered to me on the last year's midnight. "I hope we could be like this next year..." But turned out we couldn't make it.

I just made my New Year's resolution and you can see it here

Today is the last day of 2013.

We have walked through 364 days in joy and tears, with happiness and sorrow. Leave the bad memories and pains all behind. Don't keep it with you while you're jumping into the new year. List your new year's resolution and make it happens! Eat healthily, drink plenty of water, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, stop drinking alcohol.
Let 2014 be your year! Let yourself shine through all the year! God bless you

MY SELCAS THROUGH 2013

This is totally not a wig. People keep saying that I'm wearing a wig. LOL.

YEAH! My first beautifully-drown-winged-eyeliner!

Close-up look.

Stupid face. Meh. :p

Womanizer!

GAMES TO END 2013

I just found a little game on Tumblr and decided to re-post it.

1: Post a selca? - Okay. Will post it on the next post.
2: Do you wear makeup? What makeup do you put on? - Yes. BB cream, mascara, and eyebrow pencil.
3: Do you prefer dark or light haired guys/girls? - Dark haired.
4: What's your favorite song at the moment? - Counting Stars by One Republic.
5: What was the last song you listened to? - Together Forever by Rico J. Puno
6: Do you have any crush? - I have a lot in South Korea. LOL
7: Who is your crush? - Currently crushing over EXO Kris Wu.
8: What are you doing right now? - Sitting in front of my desktop, obviously.
9: Do you have any siblings? - Yep.
10: What's you ethnicity? - Chinese.
11: What's your favorite subject in school? - Computer.
12: What's your favorite color? - Red.
13: What's your favorite sports team? - I don't have any.
14: What's your favorite ice cream flavor? - Peppermint.
15: When did you make your blog? - Last year.
16: How many followers (on Twitter) do you have? - 811.
17: Do you like where you live? - No.
18: Is your room super messy or really clean? - Super messy.
19: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? - Nope.
20: Do you prefer pens or pencils? - Pens.

Obsession

You are the only one I have
No one could ever take your place
No matter how hard I try
I can't find anyone to replace you

I hold on tightly so you can't leave
I grab onto you so I won't have to cry
No matter how many times
You throw me away

Even if you walk ahead for a little while
I will follow you
I will protect you
So you can't forget me easily

I can't escape from this trap
Because I have fallen too deep

GET TO KNOW ME "25 RANDOM QUESTIONS"

1. Do you have any pets? - Yes. It's a campbell hamster and we named it after The Hobbit's main character, Bilbo.

2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you. - Computer, Cellphone, Music sheet.

3. What's the weather like right now? - It's cold.

4. Do you drive? If so, have you crashed? - I rarely drive and no, I have never crashed.

5. What time did you wake up this morning? - Nine.

6. When was the last time you showered? - 4 hours ago.

7. What was the last movie you saw? - "The Golden Compass"

8. What does your last text message say? - A guy who said that he misses me.

9. What's your ringtone? - Just a classic phone ringtone.

10. Have you ever been to a different country? - Yes. I used to live in Malaysia for two months.

11. Do you like sushi? - DAMN YES!!!

12. Where do you buy your groceries? - Local market.

13. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? - No.

14. How many siblings do you have? - One little sister.

15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? - I have both.

16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? - Eighteen. I'm getting old...

17. Do you wear contacts or glasses? - Wear both.

18. Do you color your hair?  - No.

19. Tell me something you're planning to do today. - Eat, sleep, eat, sleep.

20. When was the last time you cried? - When I was fighting with my bestie, I guess...

21. What is your perfect pizza topping? - Cheese and tuna.

22. Which do you prefer, hamburgers or cheeseburgers? - Hamburgers.

23. Have you ever had an all-nighter? - Yes.

24. What is your eye color? - Dark brown.

25. Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke? - I don't drink soda.

MY THOUGHT ON BEAUTY PAGEANT

So, there's this contest in my city called "Gege Meimei" (哥哥妹妹). It's kind of beauty pageant but there will be a pair of winner in this contest. There will be one guy (哥哥) and one girl (妹妹). I don't know how to address this contest so I just call it beauty pageant because "brain, beauty, behavior" is judged here. "Gege Meimei" (哥哥妹妹) is a community here at my region which aims to introduce Tionghua culture. I just voted for some candidates and most of them look great.

Yesterday, my friend asked me why I didn't join this contest. It didn't take so long for me to answer, "I'm not ready yet." YES, I'm not ready at all for this kind of contest. People keep saying that if you keep waiting, you'll never be ready. But I'm quite sure that I will be ready, someday. I have some thoughts on this contest, where "brain, beauty, behavior" is judged here.

First, I need to have extensive knowledge, not only in general, but in specific way, especially about my own region, West Borneo. I need to understand my own culture and have the ability to introduce it to public. It's not that easy to persuade people to put interest on our culture. If we're bad in presenting our culture, it will end up promiscuous and people won't even look at our culture. That's why I have a little worries on it.

Second, I have to look good, physically good. Beauty plays big role in this kind of contest. When you're presenting something, people will look at your presentable physical appearance first, before getting into what you will talking about. I believe that every girl is beautiful, with or without makeup. However, I feel not really confident being compared with other girls. You may see me beautiful, but honestly I don't feel beautiful enough. I'm a perfectionist. People judge me based on this trait. "Nobody's perfect." YES I KNOW. But at least I will try my best to cover what I lack of. Until now, I still can't find way to hide it. My height is 5'18" which is considered normal for my age, but I'm not really confident with fats all over my body. I mean, my thigh touches each other, and I don't have flat stomach, and yeah, I'm 59 kilograms, almost 60! I'm very desperate with this number, although some of my friends try to cheer me up by saying "it's only a number, dear!" but. it's. almost. sixty! Who the hell wants to see a 60 kilograms girl walking on stage? Well, society sucks now, but we can't blame them. Everyone loves to see beautiful tall skinny lady. That's why I have a big worries on it.

And the third, behavior. I don't really have much worries on this. Because I think I behave well all over my life. I respect elders. I almost always be there for everyone. I'm not trying to gain attention - or I'm not an attention seeker. But sometimes I just feel lonely and I don't speak up my problems. I'm just afraid it will disturb my daily activity in that community. I mean, not everyone is going to like you. I'm the person who is easily disturbed by someone who doesn't like me. Because I have the thought of making people to like me. When I know someone is hating me and spreading hatred or bad gossips about me, it will upset me and I will be like "Okay, I'm going to sit here and think of it" I know, I know, it's not a positive way to respond on this case. And yeah, I will just keep them by myself and it will explode someday in my life. So I'm afraid to make everyone upsets with this situation.

I want to work on those three things before I walk to the stage. I want to be the person who makes my rivals doubt their own self-qualities. I don't want to be on stage while I'm not ready. It will just make me ashamed to walk on the stage with no quality. I think the candidates for this contest have already passed the standard. And everyone seems good-looking, smart, and kind. So, I just wish a very good luck for the candidates and whoever win in the end, I hope you can work on your part well.

ALONE - CELINE DION

I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though
Alone...

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone

You don't know how long I have wanted
To touch your lips and hold you tight
You don't know how long I have waited
And I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown
Alone...