Dear Future Daughter

Random things just passed by my mind... And I decided to post this thing.

1. When you're at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes. Ask her about her day. I promise you, you won't regret it. Often times you'll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.
2. Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making its way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.
3. No one is going to fucking save you. Anything you've read or heard otherwise is bullshit.
4. One day a boy is going to come along whose touch feels like fire and whose words taste like vanilla. When he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary
5. Your mental health comes before school, baby. Always. If it's midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you're not so sure you want to be alive anymore, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a bad score on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.

TITANIUM - DAVID GUETTA ft. SIA

You shout it out

But I can't hear a word you say

I'm talking loud not saying much

I'm criticized

But all your bullets ricochet

Shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose

Fire away, fire away

Ricochet, you take your aim

Fire away, fire away

[Chorus:]

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

Cut me down

But it's you who'll have further to fall

Ghost town and haunted love

Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones

I'm talking loud not saying much

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose

Fire away, fire away

Ricochet, you take your aim

Fire away, fire away

[Chorus:]

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

I am titanium

I am titanium

Stone-hard, machine gun

Firing at the ones who run

Stone-hard as bulletproof glass

[Chorus:]

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

You shoot me down but I won't fall

I am titanium

I am titanium

HE IS NOT AN IDIOT

I have been asked so many times about how could my ex be an idiot and left a beautiful girl like me. I got tired of that question and I won't answer it because that's out of my capacity to do that. The point is I don't want people to assume that loyalty and love are based on beauty and physical appearance. I don't think my ex would fall in love with me that day if he only looked for beauty - because I am just a plain Jane. And I don't think my ex would stick with me that long if he only wanted me for physical appearance - because I am not hot, skinny, or whatever. Guys are easily bored if they only want you for your body. So, I just want my friends and all people out there to stop assuming that it's idiot for a guy to leave a beautiful girl behind. Relationship failed for a reason, guys. We broke up for an exact reason - we both realized that we don't walk in the same path and that this relationship can't be worth fighting for anymore. It's just too complicated for a teenager like us to face this thing, but that's a fact we cannot avoid. He wanted to stick with his principal and I have to understand his will. He is not an idiot because he used to love me just the way I am. CLARIFIED.

ASK BOX ASK BOX 20140122

1. What is your religion or do you not really have one? - Christian
2. Ever had a one night stand? If so, how many and do you regret any of them? - Never
3. Current friend that you have known the longest? - Lisa
4. Name someone you can tell just about anything to? - No one
5. Favorite animal to have as a pet? - Dog
6. How many floors does your home have? - Three
7. How many bedrooms and bathrooms? - Three bedrooms & two bathrooms
8. Do you live in a neighborhood or in the middle of nowhere? - Neighborhood
9. What's your definition of cheating? - Leaving your true love for a night with a hoe
10. Ever cheated on a test? - Yes
11. Do you regret anything? - Yes
12. Name 5 of the most important things in your life? - Family, foods, wifi, oxygen, my phone
13. How many languages can you speak and what are they? - Three. ID, English, Teochew dialect
14. Are you a touchy feely person? - No
15. Do you trust easily? - No
16. Do you have any phobias? - Yes 
17. Are you a heavy or light sleeper? - Light sleeper 
18. Are you a morning person? - Not. at. all.
19. Ever had surgery? If yes, for what reason? - Yes, just a lil injury on my knee 
20. Ever come close to death? - Never
21. Ever broken any bones? - Yes
22. When you die, would you rather be buried or cremated? - Cremated 
23. Have you been told you can sing well more than once? - Yes
24. 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot? - Eyes, hair, cheeks
25. Name your least favorite feature? - Body
26. Name the clothing store you shop at the most? - Berrybenka.com
27. Name a movie or movies you can watch over and over? - Titanic, Narnia
28. Do you have siblings? If so, how many? - Yes, one lil sis.
29. What is/was your worst subject in school? - Chemistry
30. Do you like to dance? - YES
31. Name your 2 favorite colors and why? - Red because it looks so brave and soft pink because it looks girly 
32. Ever had an imaginary friend as a child? - Yes lol
33. Ever been skinny dipping? - Yes
34. Did/Do you enjoy highschool for the most part? - No
35. Who do you live with? - Parents
36. Name your 3 closest friends. Which one is your very best friend? - Lisa, Eria, Tanzalia. Closest one is Lisa.
37. How often do you really "go out"? - Rarely go out
38. Have you ever lost anyone you loved? - Yes
39. Ever been in true love? - Yes
40. On a scale of 1-5 how organized are you? - 3

Survey: Random Questions

1. Have you ever been friends with benefits with someone? - No.
2. Do you want a boyfriend/girlfriend right now? - Sort of. I like being single though.
3. Have you ever been on a bad first date? - Nope.
4. Do you believe that love exists? - Yes.
5. Do you think text s_e_x (where you text someone dirty things) is good? - No. It's retarded.
6. Have you ever had text s_e_x? - Nope.
7. Have you ever gone out with one of your guy/girl friends? - Yes.
8. Is it okay to kiss on the first date? - No, because you don't know the person well enough yet.
9. Are you and your crush friends? - Sort of.
10. If you've ever played spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven, have you ever had to kiss a nerd? - Nope.
11. How far should you go on the first date? - Just holding hands.
12. Have you ever had a crush on the same person as your friend? - Yes.
13. Do internet relationships work out? - It depends. You really have to work at it.
14. What about long distance relationships? - You would have to really work at it and you would have to see each other a lot but maybe it could work.
15. Is cheating okay if the relationship hasn't been that long? - Not at all.
16. Have you ever cheated on someone before? - Nope
17. If your two best friends (your closest guy friend and your closest girl friend) starting going out, would you feel awkward around them? - If they start making out in front of me, then yes, I would feel awkward. But other than that, no.
18. Are you obsessed with romance? - Yeah, I would say so.
19. What gifts would you like to receive on Valentine's Day? - Jewelry, stuffed animal, card, a box of heart shaped chocolates, flowers.
20. Finally, do you think that if you kissed your closest guy/girl friend, you would fall in love with them? - It would just be awkward, and neither of us would ever bring it up again.

I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO REACT

Six months passed.

And I met him yesterday.

I thought I have moved on.

But turned out I was so wrong.

I forced myself to think that way.

While in fact it wasn't like that at all.

He still lingers at every corner of my heart.

His name still gives me ticklish feeling on my tummy.

Heart beats so fast.

Can't even control myself.

Feel the warmth on my face.

I know it turns red when I hear they say your name.

When you talk to me,

I don't even know how to react.

I act like a fool, a very foolish girl.

Because I'm afraid I'd speak stupid thing that will turn your back away once again.

I really want to know.

Have you ever thought about me like I think about you?

Every day, you are still close to my mind.

Can I have you once again?

My goal is not to wake up at 40, with the revelation that I wasted my life in a job I hate because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens.